So I started looking deeper into all of this amidst my wife and I’s simultaneous suspicions that her mentors within her church were “poisoning us.” They would bring us food all the time over a couple month period, and we were constantly sick. Since cutting those people out we have been better. I want to the hospital to have us all screened, but they referred us to a social worker, who is talking with police on the matter.
This is when I started looking deeper into this “religion.” Long story short, I want as far away as I can from this stuff as well as my children. I’m a military veteran who is 29, and has supported my family entirely up until now. I have only been out of the military for a a little over a year now, and have bad anxiety and ptsd issues that have made attaining a job hard, so I’m living off my GI bill through the military (monthly check to supplement education post military -36 months), and military disability. My spouse is hesitant to work, because the people in her religion tell her a wife should be at home.
I thought I was being a supportive husband by supporting her choice of religion, but now that I’ve learned more, I can’t. I’ve tried to talk calmly about this to her many times, but it goes nowhere. The religion is designed to warn her about people like me, “worldly” people. She goes on talking about “the end” all the time like she is anticipating it. I hate to say it, but I fear the brainwashing has potentially dulled her sense of reality. Even after knowing these people could have poisoned her own children, she defends the organization as a whole. She doesn’t want to go to any conventional counseling because “other people don’t need to know our problems.” I have no idea what do to at this point.
I probably will be supporting our family by my previously mention means while I try to get mentally stable again to work full time over the next couple of years. I only have about $15,000 in savings, and I own our only vehicle, a fully paid off car. We have furniture and stuff but I’m not attached to any of it. I have a life insurance policy that was converted from my military SGLI to a VGLI and that’s it for assets. Other than that, no big debts or anything.
Over the last 4 years, this is kind of how the split has been raising the kids:
2016,17: I was in the military, my wife would handle the morning routine with the kids because I left early in the morning and got home in the afternoon, and would play with the kids and help with everything like cleaning, brushing teeth, putting to bed etc. The only thing I didn’t do much was cook, which I only did maybe once a week.
2018,2019 (post military): I spent 2018 looking for and working several different jobs that didn’t last long, mostly in part to stress and adjustment disorder, and as a result only worked about 5 months last year, which ate into savings. Besides that, we have done everything in terms of taking care and spending time with the kids kids equal.
As I right this, I hide my children’s Easter eggs alone in the backyard, as my wife will stay in the bedroom today because of the “holiday” she is not allowed to celebrate. The psychological effect of never having their mom around for birthdays and holidays is only going to get worse, and it’s hard on me to have to see them do it alone. What kind of parent doesn’t want to have fun with their children smh.
What is a divorce going to look like with her? I really just don’t want to give up my disability pay for life or my gi bill payments for school. Furniture, car, belongings can be split idgaf. I don’t want to pay her long term.
Edit: omg I cant believe this took off. I’m literally crying. People are sending overwhelming positive words and advice after I have felt so alone for years. I guess this is locked now, so I’m not even sure this edit will go through, but I will post in the exjw sub., as that is what of a ton of advice has said to do. Thanks to all so much for your support from the bottom of my heart. The selflessness of you all to help a stranger in a time of need is what I believe makes the world go around, and a lot of people could learn from.
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from reddit: the front page of the internet http://bit.ly/2UNa9Wd
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