So I have mentioned this story before, but my roommate last semester was a man hoe. He would frequently bring girls back to the dorm even though he claimed he had a girlfriend. Anyways one night he brought a girl home who woke me up at 3am by screaming during sex. I consider myself to be a calm reasonable person so I did what any calm reasonable person would do. I got out my phone connected to the Bluetooth speaker in his room and played a video about queefing at max volume. She shut up really quickly and my roommate told me they were so embarrassed they just layed on the bed listening to some girl explain queefs to them for five minutes. I slept like a baby after that.
Edit: I guess I need to clarify that my roommate wasn't actually mad at me. It wasn't the first time he had loud screamy sex in the dorm room and I was getting sick of his shit so that's why I got him back. I ignored it the first couple of times and when it got to be a semi regular occurrence I knew it was time to go nuclear on his ass. Anyway the next day he admitted he deserved it and he would try to be more quite in the future.
Edit 2: Come on guys some of you are bashing me for not taking the moral high road on someone who woke me and my two other roommates up by screaming in our ears during sex at 3am in a shared dorm room. They made it awkward for us so I made it a thousand times more awkward for them and had fun doing it. I regret nothing. He got what he deserved.
Edit 3: Keep the I'm a loser for pranking my roommate for scream fucking in a shared dorm room in front of his roommates messages coming. I'm not taking this post down.
Edit 4: Yes I am a cuck dirty virgin loser who is an effeminate soy boy daddies. Keep abusing me with your messages, but I can only cum so much from your punishment. You are going to put me in the hospital. A boy needs rest.
Edit 5: All your punishment is making me so hard. I'm not even using hands any more I'm just slapping my dick on the keyboard now. It's just you and my dick now. Break my body. We have already established I'm a virgin loser, but come on go harder guys. Keep telling me how pathetic I am. You are about to make me into a ragging love fountain from your punishment. No girl has ever drained my balls as hard as you so obviously superior alpha males have. Make them write 50 shades of mediocre penis from our love story.
Edit 6: Fifty Shades of Mediocre Penis
Chapter One
It was a snowy cold winter Sunday. /u/MediocrePenisNumber6 was celebrating his victory over his horny loud roommate when all of a sudden he got a comment from /u/Aguynamedtony. Was it more fans from the internet who also wanted to celebrate in his victory? Hurriedly he opened it and he eagerly read over the contents.
"Why you getting back at them you get your nut why cant they get theirs. Oh I see the problem you ain't getting no nut off makes sense! Jealousy is a terrible trait"
/u/MediocrePenisNumber6's heart sank. It wasn't from a fan it was from someone clearly superior to him. He was right /u/MediocrePenisNumber6 was indeed getting no nut. It was like all the other messages and comments that he had gotten before. He was a dirty virgin loser unfit to be called a man. He was still in denial before, but this one, this one sank home. The truth hurt so much. /u/MediocrePenisNumber6 began to feel a deep pain in his chest. He started to cry. But wait it wasn't from his eyeballs that he was crying it was another type of ball entirely. He started to feel some new emotions spring up inside him. /u/Aguynamedtony's rough manly treatment of him made the pain feel... what was it he thought? It was good. The pain felt so good. Then he knew he had seen the light. /u/Aguynamedtony was going to make /u/MediocrePenisNumber6 go from a dirty cuck virgin into a manly sex god who screamed fucked wherever he pleased. /u/MediocrePenisNumber6 was no longer mediocre. His penis was crying big fat tears of his pre boy goo. He could no longer contain it he ripped off pants smashed his precum soaked hard cock right on the part of the screen that had /u/Aguynamedtony's comment. He stared deep into the pixels of his user name. To put it bluntly he fucked the shit out of that computer monitor. He broke the screen but it didn't matter the electric shock and broken glass just sent waves of pure painful pleasure up his penis. With one mighty fuck scream he sent a geyser of his boy love over the broken computer with such force that he knew his ancestors would be proud. But before /u/MediocrePenisNumber6 could fully bask in his glory he felt a hard hand on his shoulder. He had forgotten he was in the campus library. As he was being dragged off he reached out desperately wanting to remain with that which had turned him into a man. But his love was but a tragic one for there was nothing he could do. He had to leave his love behind. /u/MediocrePenisNumber6 cried tears of anguish as he knew he would never see the man who had bestowed manhood on him again.
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