This is an embarrassing post to write. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year. She’s always been very sexually forward which I’m fine with but it’s reaching a new level. My girlfriend has introduced me to a lot of stuff since we got together but a recent event has made me feel uneasy about it. Apologies for being somewhat graphic, I tried to only include relevant details, but it’s a bedroom-based issue.
Occasionally we hook up with other people. This is also fine with us both. A co-worker (24m) of hers has joined us a few times, which I enjoyed. A few days ago we invited him over. Before he arrived she told me she wanted to see me with another guy, and co-worker was down with it if I was. Honestly, I didn’t care. I’m not particularly into guys but I’m not against the idea so I agreed.
We had some drinks and things started heating up. After fooling around for a while the fact I drank too much hit me so I was going to lay down. They said they’d come with me to the bedroom. We messed around a bit more and at some point I passed out.
I kind of woke up and while I was half asleep I felt my girlfriend pulling down my pants. I didn’t really react. I think I fell asleep again.
Then I woke up (yet again) but this time to co-worker penetrating me. I was really overwhelmed and in a lot of pain and I couldn’t get myself together enough to speak. I tried to get away but he was holding my hips and my girlfriend was stroking my back and giggling. I was very dazed throughout the whole thing and passed out again afterwards.
For a day or two neither my girlfriend or I mentioned the situation. (TMI warning) at some point I mentioned to her how much pain I was in and that I had been experiencing bleeding. She thought I was complaining and got angry, saying I had agreed to do it in the first place. I said that I didn’t expect it to happen after I’d gone to bed, to which she said I never say no at any point. When I told her I wasn’t conscious at the time, she said she knew.
I feel really weird about the whole thing. She’s acting like everything’s normal now but I feel very tense. The whole situation has me feeling uneasy and I feel like she shouldn’t have let him do that. But she is also correct, I didn’t complain at the time and had agreed to have sex with him earlier in the day. Am I in the right to feel like my trust has been violated, or am I thinking too much about it? It feels really hard to even look at her right now, but I don’t think she knew I didn’t want it.
Edit: thank you everyone who’s commented, it’s hard to come up with replies, but I appreciate it a lot.
Edit 2: I’m going to go to the emergency room tonight instead. I asked my best friend to come with me and I’m trying to figure out how to tell him what happened. I’m going to split up with her and go non-contact. I might go to the police. I will try to keep you updated. Thank you all.
Edit 3: Waiting for my friend to pick me up now. The replies made me have a crisis but I can only thank you guys. Trying my best to keep calm. To those concerned, the physical damage isn’t as bad as it sounds. I’m certain it’ll heal fine. Of course I’m still going to get a doctor’s opinion though. Not really sure what else to add.
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