EDIT 2 I've just sent him a link to this thread and the message marks as read. Not sure if I'll regret it but perhaps if he hears what the majority has to say/thinks it'll dawn on him how off, entitled and self righteous his behavior is.
My friend (33 yo) has a computer science degree but hasn't worked a day in his life. He's always expecting to be given higher up positions even though he has no experience, a couple years ago he interviewed for an office job in his field, he got hired but turned it down when he learned he was gonna be paid a flat monthly salary. He came out fuming saying it wasn't fair he'd be making a company money and they wouldn't give him a %. So he wanted his waged plus a percentage of the revenue his services where making for the company.
My friends and I explained him that's how the world works. I earn the same as a server whether my boss makes more or less money that month but he refuses to grasp it. He always found issues with whatever job he interviewed for.
So he's never had a job and for the past few years he's lived off forex trading claiming to make average $20 a day. I explained $20 a day is ridiculous and he could make much more working as a server, he could make at least $50 a day, but he says he prefers to earn $20 sitting at home than breaking his back for a few dollars more.
So his situation got so bad he had to resorted to asking his parents to support him economically. His parents aren’t doing great either so his mother (retired teacher) had to go back to work in order to make extra money and pay his rent/bills.
Now, I’ve been offering a job in my restaurant for months. It’s not actually my restaurant but I’ve been working there for a few years and my boss is a lovely, lovely great man. As soon as I told him about my friend’s situation he offered him a full time job. So for months my friend’s been turning it down. Yesterday he called saying his parents had cut him off and he needed to borrow money from me. I said I won’t let him money but there’ll always be a plate of food in my house for him and there’s a job working with me if he wants it. In the heat of the moment he confessed he thinks being a server is low and won’t get him anybody’s respect.
This comment hurt me so much and I ended the conversation before we got into an argument.
So to my surprise he called me today. Said he was willing to accept the job under the condition my boss makes him Manager (so it doesn't hurt his ego as much as being a server) and that he shall move in with me so I can drive him to work because otherwise he’d have to take the bus which is 35min each way and that’s something he can’t do. He even said I should uproot my younger daughter into my elder daughter’s room so that there’s a free room for him in my house.
The nerve! Like he was doing me the favor by taking the job. It doesn’t make sense!! I was trying to help him and instead he’s abusing my kindness. Is he too good to travel by bus an hour a day? Is he too good to serve tables? He’s proved he rather starve than get whatever job to make ends meet. He rather his retired mother who is not in the best health conditions goes back to work just so he can keep being at home with his pride intact. And he has the nerve to say what I do for a living is low. I’ll never stop being amazed at the sense of entitlement some people have.
Edit For those thinking the job offer was still up, no, the moment he referred to us as low and not respectable he screwed his chances. I did text him saying the offer was no more. The friendship is over so the job thing isn't gonna happen. If I suspected he'd be terrible at his job of course I would have never agreed to extend the invitation to hire him, I'd never do that to my bosses. Also, he can be a prick and still be good at his job. I didn't purposefully 'vouch' for him knowing he'd be terrible. That's not how things happened. I didn't know most of this stuff about his parent supporting him until yesterday and again, it's not like I vouched for him while 'knowing' he'd be awful. I value my job and respect my bosses too much to do such a dick move.
Notes*
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When I said he could make at least $50 a day I was trying to exaggerate a low amount to make a point, that working would earn him at least twice what he makes now. Ofc we make more plus tips.
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He said he makes average $20 and sometimes $50 on ForEx, I've not seen this for myself but I believe it because if he was to brag about money I'd expect him to make up a high amount, so I believe the $20 thing.
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Up until a year ago he was working doing the occasional online job in Fiverr and some other website where you pay in order to bid and buy jobs, but you need a certain amount of money before they allow you to withdraw it. That and Forex are the two jobs he's ever had.
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To the people asking if we're Asian, he's from Bangladesh and I'm from Europe but we both have been living in the US for many years.
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We became friends because we both had a friend in common. He was very easy going and easy to talk to. He was very good at telling jokes and we liked the same movies and shows.
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Some of you are telling me to get him psychological help and to stick by him. This is not my responsibility. I already made the decision to stop being friends. I'd love to rekindle our friendship in the future if he sorts himself out but for now I have to cut him out. I've tried my best to help him and make him reason. All the questions posted here about him I already asked him, I already explained everything and how his behavior comes across as condescending and arrogant, but he always knows better than anyone and I always 'just don't understand things' and he didn't 'study a degree so some boss could make money off him and his effort'. It's frustrating, exasperating and I for the life of me don't understand the logic behind his actions. I've done my part.
If you really want to get him help please send me a pm with your cell number so I can text it to him and get you two in touch, so you can get him the therapy he needs and convince him he actually has a problem.
Him having mental health issues doesn't inherently make it a blanch card to be an asshole on a perpetual ego trip, and it doesn't mean I have to make it my duty to help him because of it. I've tried. I got 2 jobs and a family to take care of. The friendship is over.
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