I’ve (24M) been dating a girl (22F) for about 4 months now, she’s officially been my girlfriend for 3. Friday morning she tells me she’s going to dinner with a friend - nothing out of the norm as she’s very social and has a lot of friends - I make a joke about her having so many friends, the day goes on, I go to work.
As I’m making my way home in the metro after staying in the office late, luck would have it that we end up on the same train as she’s returning from that dinner. She’s there talking with a guy I’ve never seen before. I wave to her and I introduce myself to the guy using my name only and start some small talk. He says that they’ve been talking for about 4 months after they met “online”.
After a few minutes our stop comes up (she has her own apartment but generally spends at least 5 or 6 nights a week at mine, and was headed there to meet me after I finished work). He goes in for a goodbye hug and she awkwardly accepts while checking my response.
I ask her about him and she says he’s just a friend. I asked her if he paid for dinner, she says yes - which in my mind makes it a date and not just two people hanging out. I then calmly demand to see her phone, which she obliges to.
I scroll through their messages, which includes him saying he wants to be her boyfriend and how the last time they met he “should have kissed [her]”. It’s one sided, but she still agrees to meet him at least twice. It’s apparenty that they haven’t had sex, but it’s also apparent that she’s been leading this guy on since we’ve started dating and hasn’t told him she has a boyfriend.
As I’m looking trough the messages, a new one comes in - “who was that guy in the train? Is he interested in you, too?”.
I don’t say anything on the walk back to mine, when we arrive I pack up her things and ask her to leave. She says she hasn’t done anything wrong because they didn’t have sex and she doesn’t even like him, they’re just friends, then begins to cry and apologize in a strand of text and voice messages from outside of my apartment. She loves me, she can’t live without me, she made a mistake etc, etc,
She said she didn’t know how to refuse him even though she didn’t want to be with him.
I said “it’s easy to refuse someone, very easy actually” and blocked her number. Haven’t talked to her in two days.
She can be friends with whomever she wants, but going out with a guy who has made it clear he wants to be her boyfriend doesn’t sit well with me.
AITA for ghosting her?
Tldr: girlfriend has been messaging and meeting a guy (who wants to be her boyfriend) since we started dating, when I found out I kicked her out and haven’t spoken to her in two days
Update: Thank you all for taking the time to respond!
A few hours ago she sent me a photo through Instagram of her crying and my name written all over her face in eyeliner. Sucky situation all around.
However, seeing how everyone has handled their own similar situations and after weighing the advice of more experienced people, I know that I can only look forward now. Albeit, it’s not so easy after spending nearly everyday together for months.
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