So, I'm now 31 years old, my sister is 32 and the middle child. We were separated by CPS when I was 11 because she had tried to kill me too many times and was very honest about the fact that she didn't intend to stop. This included trying to stab me and smash my head in with whatever heavy objects she could find, pots, hammers, bats, etc. She loved to choke me out with the Nintendo controllers until I passed out (another reason wireless controllers are a blessing!) She was also notorious for chasing us all with butcher knives, although as the youngest, I seemed to be her favorite target. She lashed out on a daily basis but it was almost like a game to us. I never knew this was abnormal behavior because she had always been this way. Then fourth grade came along; I can still remember my teacher telling me I was needed in the office. They asked me about my home life and didn't hide their horrified reactions very well when I talked about what a normal day in our house was like. Next thing I know, I'm being told that my ’stabby’ sister is going to live with my dad and stepmom, and my eldest sister and I were being moved out of state. We switched places a year later. She proceeded to get worse under our mother’s care as she found drugs and has made twenty years worth of bad decisions since then. I found out at the end of 2017 that she was pregnant with her third child and knew that she was still using drugs, so social services were called and they were waiting for her in the hospital when she went to give birth. My niece was born early in May of 2018, and with trace amounts of drugs in her system, which I was told is a miracle because of the amount found in my sister's system. Because of this, she was to be taken away and if someone in our family didn't take her, she would go into the foster system. I've had her in my home ever since and because of how the system works, I have to bring my niece to see her now on a weekly basis. That is, whenever my sister finds it convenient anyway. She's five months old and she has seen her a total of six times but, when she does come back in the picture, she pretends like she's getting her life back together and I have to listen to her talk about taking my niece away from me. Even though she doesn't have any of her kids in her custody. While I don't ever really see that happening, there's always just this lurking feeling deep down that eats at me, just thinking about what it would be like to give this precious child back to a mother that I know is sick in the head. I just hate it. Especially because of how much my little family loves her. My two kids and husband adore her and she clearly loves us too already. My niece cried so hard when my sister held her at her last visit and was making it obvious that she wanted to come back to me. Such a terrible feeling to not be able to hold her at that moment.
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